I Have Never Grasped the Essence of What It Means to Feel Complete—

Rationality was my sole guiding star, a realm where all things had to conform to reason, logic, and precision. Emotion was merely a trivial disturbance, a distraction unworthy of acknowledgment in the sanctity of calculated thought.

Flat, even as those around me seemed to unearth what I was meant to desire—emotion. I could neither comprehend their world, nor could they ever truly fathom mine.

Electing to Remain Awake,

Devoid of purpose or intent—propelled solely by the monotony of boredom urging me to act. An imperceptible spark, quiet yet seismic, dismantling the very framework of my convictions, revealing a side of myself I had long entombed. Not through grand inquiries or sweeping revelations, but through something strikingly simple—something inexplicably potent, cutting through the fortress of my logic, even as I clung to it with desperate resolve.

Sensing something ineffable. What was imparted was not simply an empty paper, but a gateway to a profound dimension within myself, vast and uncharted, far beyond the confines of what I had ever known.

What Has Shifted Within Me?

Though it remains challenging, and despite my rational mind persistently striving for control, I gradually come to the realization that what is unfolding before me is the most profound journey I've ever embarked upon. It not only reshapes my worldview, but imparts a deeper lesson—that at times, we must surrender to our emotions, even when they are laden with fear and uncertainty.

I, who once perceived life as a mere exercise in data collection, logical decision-making, and empirical validation, have come to realize that there exist realms beyond the grasp of pure reason.

I meant, those that form naturally—they all carry a meaning far deeper than I had ever imagined.

I Will Never Regret It,

For with each passing moment, I feel I am getting to know myself better—who I am, why I was created, why God did this for me, and this is how it should be.

How could I doubt someone who perceives more than the mere calculations of my being? You unravel facets of me that I myself didn't even know existed.

And if you were to ask whether I could ever let go, I possess but one answer: no, I will never yield to your plea to desist. Should it entail bearing all consequences, I shall accept them with unwavering resolve. Should it demand walking alone, I will proceed, even if the path does not favor me.

The Decision I’ve Never Once Regretted—

So let me exist, unforced, undisturbing, without altering who you are. That, in itself, is sufficient—sufficient to make me feel truly alive.

I am profoundly thankful for that, indeed :)

Contemplate This with Utmost Deliberation,

It would be wiser not to place your hopes on time for this matter, for time will change nothing...